


How the Night Hurts

by toodelicatee



Series: Poor Savage Things [2]
Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hostage Situations, Hurt/Comfort, Murder, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6400927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toodelicatee/pseuds/toodelicatee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While being held in the hatch, Ben observes the survivors. He understands them more than he lets on, but nothing else really matters to him other than getting back to his child</p>
            </blockquote>





	How the Night Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who reads. I'd really, really appreciate your feedback. You can always prompt certain moments or scenarios for me to focus on in this fic too.
> 
> Warning for mild torture and violence, murder and attempted murder, along with brief mentions of blood and wounds.

Sayid's fists are relentless. They come hard and fast, sharp enough to leave Ben trembling, gripping at his own shirt and gasping. He can feel the force of despair and grief in every blow and he wants to scream _I know._  
  
_I know._  
  
He wants to, but he doesn't. He whimpers instead.  
  
'I'm Henry Gale, I'm from Minnesota, I don't know what you're talking-'  
  
Another hit, more blood- it's in his eyes, along with Sayid's spit and rage.  
  
In the end, Jack intervenes. Ben slides back against the wall and falls to sleep.  
  
-  
  
He often dreams of his daughter while he's being kept in the hatch. She's celestial. Her blonde hair curls and rests on her shoulders, and she throws her head back laughing at some joke he's told her.

Warmth pours out of her in the form of a delicate yellow light. With all the smoke and the sins that make up his days, he clings to this innocence. He lets it fill him up. He dreams of nothing else.  
  
It's been a fortnight since he's seen her. He knows she' safe. Juliet probably took her in, after he was captured. Elenora likes her. She'd be fine.   
  
He listens to Jack and John arguing but thinks of somewhere else. Some other place, some other time.

He remembers the day he taught his girl how to swim. The waves lapped around them gently, and he held her tiny torso while she kicked her legs like a little wild thing.  
  
'And don't forget to move your arms, faster, go on,' Ben had smiled and laughed for ages, like his life was always going to be this happy, 'that's it.'  
  
He let go and she swam a few metres before struggling. He'd clapped his hands in applause and swung her up onto his hip. He kept her there for a while, floating with her and showing her the fish. They shot past in blaring colours, oranges and yellows and purples. Her eyes had been so wide, like her mouth, as she pointed in unadulterated awe.  
  
'Did I do it, Daddy?' She'd beamed up at him later, while they were building sandcastles, 'Did I properly swim?'  
  
'Yes angel,' Ben chuckled, 'you were like a dolphin out there. Your Mother would be proud.'  
  
Even now she's grown a little, aged ten, he tells her that her Mother would be proud. It's true and it's what Annie would want.  
  
-  
  
John Locke is an enigma. He speaks like he knows something Ben doesn't, like this island was his design and he has the map of it on his spine- his spine that should still be crushed. But Ben's seen enough of this rock to know that isn't true. John's just a sad man trying to find a purpose.  
  
They're two sides of the same wretched, rusty old coin.  
  
Locke says, 'Thank you for not leaving me Henry,' and touches his shoulder.  
  
Ben catches the ghost of comfort on the other man's face and nods.  
  
He goes back to his cell and thinks of when he'll be able to see his daughter next. He thinks about the look on her face when she's excited about something.  
  
He knows that this will all be over and he'll be with the only sweet thing left in his life.  
  
Soon.  
  
-  
  
He tries to strangle Ana Lucia because she gloats. She strides, her hands in her jeans with a look that isn't remorseful.  
  
He hurts her because she thinks she's innocent, untainted. He hurts her because it's been another week gone now and he misses his child; he needs to release the fury before it starts to eat at his organs.  
  
He puts his hands on Ana Lucia's neck and presses simply because he can.  
  
-  
  
Michael kills her in the end, along with another woman. It's all to set Ben free.  
  
They stand staring at each other for some time. Both are crippled by coldness in some way. Ben understands this man deeply, more than he's understood another man in a very long time. If it had been Elenora in danger, Ben would have killed a thousand bystanders.  
  
He'd have burned the whole world down and regretted nothing.  
  
-  
  
When he finally bangs on Juliet's door, he makes a quiet internal prayer that Elenora is there. He hopes she isn't angry with him. Unlike every other bad thing in their lives, the capture wasn't his fault.  
  
His daughter answers the door. Her face crumbles at the sight of him, like paper. People are supposed to be ugly when they break down but she's lovely.  
  
'Oh my God,' she throws her arms around his shoulders and burrows her head into his chest. He holds her small form closely to him. He cups her head with blood beneath his fingernails and shaking limbs.  
  
He takes her back to their home without speaking to anyone else. She begs him to get his wounds checked but he tells her he will in the morning.  
  
Elenora refuses his stubbornness, and says she'll tend to him instead. He smiles because is this not Annie point 2?  
  
Her hands are small and tender as they wipe the blood from his face. He closes his eyes and sinks back into the softness of the couch.  
  
'Have you been all right?'  
  
She nods, 'Stay still please. Just for a second.'  
  
He smiles, does as he's told, 'It gets lonely when you're not around 'Nora. I've missed you more than I can say.'  
  
_You're the only person alive who still loves me._  
  
They fall asleep on the sofa watching some rendition of Gatsby  left in the DVD player. The next morning, Ben wakes up feeling less dead.  
  
-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
